Parents’ actions can protect children from divorce conflict

Your divorce can be one of the most stressful events of your life, but once it is over, you may begin to heal and move on. However, a divorce can be even more traumatizing for children. Seeing their parents fight and break up is heartbreaking and confusing, as our team at Parker & Parker Attorneys at Law understands. It is important for Illinois parents to cooperate while co-parenting, even if they do not get along, to help their children recover from a divorce.

How can you and your ex help your kids adjust to their new life without both parents in the home? Working Mother has provided the following tips:

• Try not to badmouth your ex in front of the children. They need to know you are both there for them and should not be forced to take sides.
• Do not use your children to get back at the other parent, relay messages back and forth or find out what he or she is doing. Parenting issues should only be communicated to your ex, no matter how difficult he or she is to work with.
• Keep structure and routine in your children’s lives when it is your turn to have them at home. Children need rules and consistency to feel secure and stable.
• Remember to reassure your children often that both parents love them and that nothing about the divorce was their fault.

Ideally, both parents should be able to communicate and work together for their children’s best interests. However, this is not always possible if your ex-spouse is difficult and resentful. If you do the best you can, your children stand a better chance of getting through this difficult period smoothly. Our page on parenting during a divorce explains more.